Emotional
Freedom Technique (EFT) Manual:
The Basic Steps to Your Emotional Freedom
Taken from Dr. Mercola's web site www.mercola.com
The
following information provides an overview of the EFT technique to give you a
sense of how this amazing "tool" works. But bear in mind that by far
the best instruction for this powerful technique is visual/audio instruction.
When you are ready to tap into EFT's full potential, an outstanding (and
economical!) investment is Gary Craig's full DVD or EFT series on learning EFT
called "The EFT Course."
The
Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT, is the psychological acupressure technique
I routinely use in my practice and most highly recommend to optimize your
emotional health. Although it is still often overlooked, emotional health is
absolutely essential to your physical health and healing - no matter how devoted
you are to the proper diet and lifestyle, you will not achieve your body's ideal
healing and preventative powers if emotional barriers stand in your way.
EFT is very easy to learn, and will help you:
EFT
is a form of psychological acupressure, based on the same energy meridians used
in traditional acupuncture to treat physical and emotional ailments for over
five thousand years, but without the invasiveness of needles. Instead, simple
tapping with the fingertips is used to input kinetic energy onto specific
meridians on the head and chest while you think about your specific problem
whether it is a traumatic event, an addiction, pain, etc. and voice positive
affirmations.
This
combination of tapping the energy meridians and voicing positive affirmation
works to clear the "short-circuit" the emotional block from
your body's bio-energy system, thus restoring your mind and body's balance,
which is essential for optimal health and the healing of physical disease.
Some
people are initially wary of these principles that EFT is based on the
electromagnetic energy that flows through the body and regulates our health is
only recently becoming recognized in the West. Others are initially taken aback
by (and sometimes amused by) the EFT tapping and affirmation methodology, whose
basics you will learn here.
But
keep in mind that, more than any traditional or alternative method I have used
or researched, EFT works. I have witnessed the results in my patients since
deciding to use EFT exclusively in June of 2001. The pioneer of EFT, Gary Craig,
has seen similar outstanding results since developing EFT over a decade ago (see
his website at www.emofree.com). Indeed, because of its very high rate of
success, the use of EFT has spread rapidly, and medical practitioners employing
EFT can now be found in every corner of the country and world. Go to http://www.mercola.com/forms/referrals.htm
This
manual will provide an overview on how and where to tap, and the proper
affirmation techniques, so that you can begin using EFT immediately to help
yourself and others. It will also provide an introduction to some advanced EFT
techniques and principles you can employ. If you are interested in taking your
EFT knowledge and practice to the next level, please consider my EFT DVD/VHS
series or Gary Craigs EFT series for the incredible benefits that they can
provide you.
There
are two basic areas to learn in order to use EFT: the tapping locations and
technique, and the positive affirmations. These areas, as well as some advanced
EFT principles and techniques, are covered in the following sections.
You
should be able to successfully treat many problems by diligently applying the
following instructions. To expand your abilities and understand, consider my EFT
series on DVD or VHS.
If
you are not getting the results you would like, or you have a particularly
traumatic issue, please do not give up! Instead, consider consulting with an EFT
professional. Dr. Patricia Carrington has some guidelines on selecting an EFT
therapist, followed by a list of EFT practitioners throughout the U.S. and
world. Many of these therapists even offer a free 15-minute phone session in
which you can ask them questions to see if you connect.
The
basic EFT sequence is straightforward and generally takes my patients only a few
minutes to learn. They have the slight advantage of me personally showing them
the tapping points, but you should be able to pick up these points relatively
quickly. With a little practice, you will be performing each round in under a
minute.
NOTE:
While it is important to tap the correct area, you need not worry about being
absolutely precise, as tapping the general area is sufficient.
The
first thing to understand is that you will be tapping with your fingers. There
are a number of acupuncture meridians on your fingertips, and when you tap with
your fingertips you are also likely using not only the meridians you are tapping
on, but also the ones on your fingers.
Traditional
EFT has you tapping with the fingertips of your index finger and middle finger
and with only one hand. Either hand works just as well. Most of the tapping
points exist on either side of the body, so it doesn't matter which side you
use, nor does it matter if you switch sides during the tapping. For example, you
can tap under your right eye and, later in the tapping, under your left arm.
I
modified this approach slightly by having you use both hands and all your
fingers, so that they are gently relaxed and form a slightly curved natural
line. The use of more fingers allows you to access more of the acupuncture
points. When you use all your fingers you will cover a larger area than just
tapping with one or two fingertips, and this will allow you to cover the tapping
points more easily.
However,
many obtain quite successful results with the traditional one-handed two-finger
approach. You can use either method, but I tend to use my modified version in an
effort to be more complete.
Ideally,
you will want to use your fingertips, not your finger pads as they have more
meridian points. However, if you are a woman with long fingernails you should of
course use your finger pads (otherwise you may end up stabbing yourself).
You
should also remove your watch and bracelets, as that will interfere with your
use of the wrist meridian tapping.
You
should tap solidly, but never so hard as to hurt or bruise yourself.
If
you decide to use both hands, I recommend slightly alternating the tapping so
that each hand is slightly out of phase with the other and you are not tapping
with both hands simultaneously. This provides a kinesthetic variant of the
alternating eye movement work that is done in EMDR and may have some slight
additional benefit.
When
you tap on the points outlined below, you will tap about 5-7 times. The actual
number is not critical, but ideally should be about the length of time it takes
for one full breath. There is probably a distinct benefit for tapping through
one complete respiration cycle.
Please
notice that these tapping points proceed down the body. That is, each tapping
point is below the one before it. That should make it a snap to memorize. A few
trips through it, and it should be yours forever. However, unlike TFT, the
sequence is not critical. You can tap the points in any order and sequence, just
so long as all the points are covered. Its just easier to go from top to
bottom to make sure you remember to do them all.
Glasses and watches can mechanically and electromagnetically interfere with EFT, so I advise everyone to remove them prior to tapping. For quick sessions conducted upon yourself, this is not critical, as you can easily tap around them, but I think there is always a benefit to removing them when possible.
Using EFT in Public: Eliminating any Embarrassment
Many
people are concerned about embarrassing themselves by using EFT in public,
especially when implementing my revision of it, which really makes one stand out
in a crowd.
After
a while of using and perfecting the technique in private quarters, if you
prefer you will be able to use only two fingers of one hand, and to say the
affirmation softly under your breath or silently. This way you can do EFT in
just about any social setting, and if people even notice what you are doing at
all, it will appear to them that you are merely thinking.
Finding
the Right Tapping Points
The
tapping points, and their abbreviations, are explained below, followed by a
chart of the points. They are presented below in the exact order in which they
should be tapped.
|
The
abbreviations for these points are summarized below in the same order as given
above. It is, again, the order in which they should be tapped:
|
TH = Top of Head |
|
Using
EFT's Affirmation Statements
Tuning Into Your Problem
Now
that you understand how to actually perform the mechanical tapping and where you
need to tap, you will next need to know what to say while you are tapping.
The
traditional EFT phrase uses the following setup:
"Even though I have this _____________, I deeply and completely
accept myself."
You
can also substitute this as the second part of the phrase:
"I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
The
blank above is filled in with a brief description of the addiction, food
craving, negative emotion or other problem you want to address.
Examples Using the Traditional EFT Phrasing
While
these examples represent a range of problems, keep in mind there really is no
limit to the types of issues you can confront with EFT:
"Even though I have this fear of public speaking, I deeply and
completely accept myself."
"Even though I have this headache, I deeply and completely accept
myself."
"Even though I have this anger towards my father, I deeply and
completely accept myself."
"Even though I have this war memory, I deeply and completely accept
myself."
"Even though I have this stiffness in my neck, I deeply and
completely accept myself."
"Even though I have these nightmares, I deeply and completely accept
myself."
"Even though I have this craving for alcohol, I deeply and
completely accept myself.
"Even though I have this fear of snakes, I deeply and completely
accept myself."
"Even though I have this depression, I deeply and completely accept
myself."
Other EFT Phrase Options
You
can also try these other phrase variations. All of these affirmations are
correct because they follow the same general format. That is...they acknowledge
the problem and create self-acceptance despite the existence of the problem.
That is what's necessary for the affirmation to be effective.
You
can use any of them, but I suggest you use the recommended one above because it
is easy to memorize and has a good track record at getting the job done.
"I accept myself even though I have this_________."
OR:
"Even though I have this ____________, I deeply and profoundly
accept myself."
OR:
"I love and accept myself even though I have
this_______________."
Interesting
Points About the Affirmation Statements
It
doesn't matter whether you believe the affirmation or not...just say it.
It
is better to say it with feeling and emphasis, but saying it routinely will
usually do the job.
It
is best to say it out loud, but if you are in a social situation where you
prefer to mutter it under your breath...or do it silently...then go ahead. It
will still likely be effective.
To
add to the effectiveness of the affirmation, The Setup also includes the
simultaneous tapping on one of the acupuncture meridian points.
Tuning
in is seemingly a very simple process. You merely think about the problem while
applying the tapping. That's it...at least in theory.
"The
cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy
system."
Negative
emotions come about because you are tuned in to certain thoughts or
circumstances, which in turn, cause your energy system to disrupt.
Otherwise,
you function normally. One's fear of heights is not present, for example, while
one is reading the comic section of the Sunday newspaper and therefore not tuned
in to the problem.
Tuning
in to a problem can be done simply by thinking about it. In fact, tuning in
means thinking about it.
Thinking
about the problem will bring about the energy disruptions involved which
then...and only then...can be balanced by applying The Basic Recipe.
Without
tuning in to the problem, thereby creating those energy disruptions, EFT does
nothing.
Putting
It All Together First Round of Tapping
Now
you will need to tap on each of the points described above while you are stating
the positive affirmation. This will only take a few moments to do.
You
should:
Select an appropriate affirmation
If
you do this while tapping the points described earlier, it is highly likely you
will notice a major decrease in the issue or problem that you were tapping on.
If your problem or issue resolves completely, you are done with the tapping. If
it doesn't decrease, or decreases to a level that is less than acceptable, move
on to the next section, or consider my more in-depth EFT series on DVD or VHS
that comes with a host of real-world examples.
Using
EFT's Affirmation Statements Advanced Steps
Sometimes,
one round of the tapping sequence while voicing your affirmation is enough to
clear up the issue. However, when subsequent rounds are necessary, you can
employ a "reminder phrase." This is simply a word or short phrase that
describes the problem and which you repeat out loud each time you tap one of the
points in the sequence. In this way you continually "remind" your
system about the problem you are working on.
The
best reminder phrase to use is usually identical to what you chose for the
affirmation you initially used. However, you can use a short cut if the setup is
particularly long by simply saying one or several words to speed up the process
and do more rounds.
For
example, if you were working on a fear of public speaking, the initial, or
"setup," affirmation would go like this:
"Even though I have this fear of public speaking, I deeply
and completely accept myself."
Within
this affirmation, the underlined words "fear of public speaking" are
ideal candidates for use as the reminder phrase. Simply repeating this reminder
phrase and the affirmation are usually sufficient to "tune in" to the
problem at hand.
Sometimes
the first round of tapping doesn't completely eliminate a problem because a new
issue, or issues that prevent further progress, show themselves via the tapping.
These issues whether images, conversations, interactions, or in some other
form are in some way related to the first problem being addressed
sometimes they are part of or the core of the cause, sometimes they are a
result. The barrier restricting your emotional health, in other words, is made
up of more than one brick and you must eliminate all the bricks.
If
this is the case, you should do additional rounds of tapping as necessary to
eliminate all the issues, but adjust your affirmation slightly as follows for
best results:
"Even though I still have some of this __________, I deeply and
completely accept myself."
Note
the words "still" and "some" and how they change the thrust
of the affirmation toward the remainder of the problem.
EFT
Cautions and Advice
Clinicians
and clients should only do what feels right or good to them. You should not
enter into emotional or physical waters that seem threatening. It is your
responsibility to take care of yourselves in this setting. Remember professional
help is easily available. Here are some cautions and advice with EFT:
Be Specific
It
is essential for clinicians to be extremely specific with language when using
EFT.
Tuning In
The
clients need to be totally tuned in to the issue of concern when using EFT.
Sometimes, when the material is emotionally painful, clients will want to
disconnect from their feelings. Look for any signs that the client is becoming
distracted or disengaged and make sure that they repeat the Reminder Phrase as
they tap the treatment points.
Cognitive Shifts
As
with energy movement, it is essential to pay attention to the cognitive shifts
that can occur with even a single round of the tapping. A cognitive shift has
occurred when you reframe the problem. Seeing the problem from a new angle, you
will often express a sense of surprise and insight. These movements can offer
valuable connections and associations, and may open new pathways for healing.
Following a cognitive shift, you often feel less guilt and self-blame, more
hope, or a simple sense of relief in an area where there has never been relief
before.
It
is important to stop after tapping and see if you notice anything different or
if something new came up after you tapped. This is frequently the underlying
issue that is the real root of your problem.
Try It On Everything
EFT
can be used to treat deep limiting beliefs, fears of the future, fear of
success, fear of failure, and anxiety about expectations, poor body image and
future relapse settings. One of the favorite sayings of Gary Craig, founder of
EFT, is "Try it on everything."
Energy and Intention
Many
clients report that they do not have the same success when using EFT by
themselves and on themselves. This likely has to do, in part, with the advantage
of combining the energy and intention of two people sharing a single purpose
during a session. When clients are less than satisfied with their own results,
it is best to find a therapist to help them resolve the issue at a deeper level.
Through Me, Not By Me
This
is one of Gary Craig's other favorite sayings. EFT practitioners are NOT healing
their clients. The healing is done through us if our clients are open to receive
it.
Many
people see themselves as special healers. This, in fact, interferes with the
treatment process. The reality is that they are not healing anybody; the clients
are actually healing themselves. Witnessing and facilitating this process is
humbling as well as gratifying.
Keep Well Hydrated
Water
conducts electricity, and EFT accesses the electrical energy that flows through
our bodies and minds. It is very important for both you and your clients to be
properly hydrated. That would be about one quart of pure water per day for every
fifty pounds of body weight.
Using
EFT's Affirmation Statements
More On Your Affirmations
Doing
affirmations is one of the best ways to be kind to your mind, every thought you
have, every sentence you speak, is an affirmation of a sort. It is either
positive or negative. However, you can also do specific intentional
affirmations. And the beautiful thing about doing affirmations is that you can
radically improve the effectiveness with EFT.
You
can do this by first creating a definite positive statement that builds you up
instead of beats you up. We're talking about definite positive statements to
make or do, something in our lives, or to create a specific goal.
You can start this process with positive
self-statements. Even if it doesn't feel true to begin with, you will want to do
these statements or affirmations many times a day.
Timing of Your Affirmations
When
you wake up, when you go to bed, every time you go to the bathroom, you should
say them.
It
is especially important to tap and say the affirmations before you go to sleep.
This is probably the single most important time to do it. I can't encourage you
enough to do the EFT affirmations every night. It is one of the most important
principles I can give you. When you tap before you go to bed you will give your
subconscious mind from 6-8 hours to work on your affirmations and help create
them for you.
If
you find prayer a helpful resource like I do, you will want to integrate your
prayer into the EFT sequences, as I believe that will help dramatically increase
the effectiveness of your affirmations.
It
took me nearly a year after learning EFT before I got in the habit of tapping
before going to bed. But I want you to avoid my mistake and not wait too long
before you start doing this valuable technique. Start taping each and every
night before you go to bed.
Mirror Work
This
is actually quite simple and inexpensive; all you need is a mirror and some
time. You can certainly tap alone or in the dark, but I find it is far more
effective to tap while staring at your own eyes in the mirror. This seems to
provide a far deeper connection with your subconscious. It's almost as if the
mirror is reflecting back your energy into you rather than going out into space
somewhere.
If
you haven't tried this yet you really need to consider doing this profoundly
simple, yet powerful technique.
You
can begin by looking in the mirror and doing your EFT affirmations, and you can
tap that in on all the EFT points. Pay careful attention and listen to what you
hear, especially focusing on any negative messages that can be blocking your
progress.
You
may not get any messages initially because you are so used to beating yourself
up and you are not used to a kind loving thought, but listen and follow through,
and learn to trust yourself.
We
frequently have a tendency to beat ourselves up for every little thing no matter
how small. All of us can use forgiveness on a daily basis and you can use the
mirror to help you here also.
You can start by looking into your own eyes and say "Even though I wasn't successful or I was angry or impatient or mean or cruel or whatever problem you need to forgive yourself for, then say:
I
forgive you, I was only doing the best I could."
I forgive you for holding onto those patterns for
too long, I forgive you for not loving yourself."
And
when you say "you" you are looking directly into your own eyes.
You
have to try this, as it is quite powerful. Remember to always acknowledge the
negative thought if it is there, but don't give it a lot of importance.
Then
you will want to use EFT on the negative thought that comes up and create a
positive opposite.
A
very common occurrence that will present itself is when you start to tap for a
food craving you will have a memory of an image, person, place or event that the
craving reminds you of. When you are doing the tapping sequences you will want
to pay special attention to these usually negative thoughts or images that come
up. Carefully listen for any statements that your subconscious is telling you
are not right or true for you.
This
is writing on your wall and causing a psycho-energetic block, and unless you
address that reversal, is not going to allow you to progress forward. This is
usually the major challenge for you and one of the primary reasons as to why you
have been able to successfully implement your goal in the past. Unless you
directly address this issue by some means, it invariably will self-sabotage your
efforts to achieve your weight loss goal.
Fortunately
the solution is quite straightforward with EFT, you simply acknowledge whatever
self-critical thoughts, images or feelings come up, and then choose to simply
love and accept yourself while taping on your acupuncture meridians.
Do
this persistently and eventually your system will improve with time. Remember to
say your statements with great enthusiasm and all the emotions you can muster.
Your subconscious mind will not convert your affirmations into reality unless
you can tie the statements in with emotional energy.
Let
me provide a few examples to more fully illustrate my point. I once gave an EFT
demonstration in front of 400 clinical nutritionists, and I had a volunteer come
up who had a food craving. It turns out the physician who volunteered had a
craving for Rice Krispy treats that were in the exhibit area. Her craving was a
strong 10. As soon as we did one round of tapping, her eyes started to water and
she was on the verge of tears. When I explored the issue further with her, she
said that she was reminded of the time when her mother would give her M & M
treats to get her out of her hair.
So
the real issue had nothing to do with her craving for the treats, but it was the
love and attention that her mother did not give her and the clearly inferior
candy substitute that her mother offered her. We tapped on that issue and her
cravings for the sweets disappeared instantly.
Another
example would be a woman I saw who was 64 years old and was having trouble
losing weight. When we started the EFT affirmation sequence, she had a memory of
how the last time she was her normal goal weight she was pregnant. Even though
consciously she very well knew that short of a miracle, she was not going to
become pregnant at 64, she was blocked from going forward with her weight loss.
Her subconscious was convinced that if she achieved her goal weight she would
instantly and immediately become pregnant.
Fortunately,
we were able to use EFT to bridge the gap to the subconscious and connect it
back to reality. Once we completed tapping that issue through, she was able to
successfully lose the 22 pounds of weight she had been unable to do for over 20
years.
This
is a very powerful illustration that the subconscious is absolutely neutral.
Remember, your subconscious is your faithful servant, and it will provide you
with exactly what you tell it. It could care less whatever demand you place on
it. In many ways it is like your computer. It will perform whatever instructions
you tell it. So you must be very careful of the instructions you provide.
The
above story illustrates a negative example of the power of the subconscious, but
you could just as easily implant positive affirmations and your subconscious
will just as reliably provide you with that result in your life. I offer some
practical suggestions on how to take advantage of this principle below.
Be Persistent With Your Affirmations
When
you first say an affirmation it may not seem to be true. Please remember that
affirmations are like planting seeds in the ground. It helps if you think of our
mind like a garden in which your thoughts are seeds that you are planting. When
you do these affirmations it is like putting a new seed into the ground.
Remember
when you plant a seed in the ground, you only have a little tiny seed, you don't
have a full-grown plant. That little seed needs to germinate. Then it breaks
open its little shell and it starts to get nourishment from the earth. Then
first the roots come out and then and only then does that first little shoot
come out through the ground.
Just
like it takes some time to go from seed to a full-grown plant, it takes some
time from your first affirmation to the realization of your goal. It doesn't
matter whether you see the results or you don't see them. You have to trust that
it just takes time.
What Can You Do When Your Inevitable Fear Thoughts Come Up
When
a fear thought comes up, simply say thanks for sharing, thank you for protecting
me. Do not give it power. Don't run from it. Whatever comes up, it is very
important to acknowledge it, when you hear them you can even write them down.
Once
you have written the fear thought down, you can turn it around to a positive
affirmation and tap it in with EFT. You can say even though I have this fear
(name the fear) I deeply love and accept myself and I fully appreciate that it
is only trying to help me.
Then
do an affirmation for what you really want, which is typically the positive
present tense opposite of the fear, or whatever positive outcome you would
desire instead of the fear.
Avoid
denying the fear. You always want to acknowledge the fear. That is the real
beauty of EFT; it always acknowledges the truth and helps you get out of the
denial trap that so many of us fall into.
EFT
helps you understand that your fear thought is there to protect you. That is
what fear really is for, to protect us.
It
is important to recognize that no matter where you are in life, no matter what
you contributed to creating, no matter what is happening, you are always doing
the best you can with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you have
until you can find a better way to handle the situation.
Be Patient With Your Affirmations
A
critical truth that is helpful to remember when doing this work is that your
persistent and consistent thoughts will eventually become your reality so be
careful to only focus on positive thoughts.
So many people do EFT affirmations for a few days, they say it doesn't work and they stop. Remember, everything happens in a perfect time space sequence. You want to trust that and we want to know that.
Fortunately,
EFT seems to rapidly accelerate not only the time at which your goal is
realized, but also the likelihood for your success. From my experience it is one
of the most profoundly effective ways to maximize the success of your
affirmations.
Be Present With Your Affirmations
Be
sure to always remember to say your positive statements in the present tense.
Your subconscious mind is very literal and if you ask it to do something in the
future, you may fail to achieve your goal for many long years.
So
many of us commonly default to this by force of habit. It takes quite a bit of
conscious effort to avoid this non-intentional, self-defeating trap. So always
avoid saying I will have or I am going to have, which is in the future tense.
Always
say your affirmation in the present tense, otherwise you run the serious risk of
delaying your obtaining of what you want, and you may never get it.
Importance of Using Self-Affirmation Principle
When
I first started doing the EFT work, I immediately modified the affirmation
response and tried substituting phrases like I choose to remain calm and
relaxed, and a variety of other ones that I thought might be better.
However,
the more I studied this issue, the more I realized that self-love is at the core
of the problem with most of our issues.
Everyone Knows What the Golden Rule is
Do
unto others, as you would have them do unto you.
It
is very hard to love your neighbor if you don't love yourself.
Now
when I talk about loving yourself I'm not talking about vanity or arrogance, but
talking about really respecting and cherishing the incredible miracle that you
really are.
You
cannot harm yourself, or you cannot harm another person if you love yourself.
Unconditional acceptance is one of the major goals that we are here for, and
that begins with self-acceptance and self-love.
The
Number one thing we can do to help us love ourselves, especially if we are going
to lose weight, is stop ALL criticism. We need to stop criticizing ourselves now
and forever, never again if we are going to make forward progress. We need to
vow to ourselves to never criticize ourselves ever again.
Most
of us have been criticizing ourselves and beating ourselves up for years. We are
not going to make much forward progress if we persist in this pattern.
When
we criticize ourselves we contribute to negative changes, and when we approve of
ourselves we facilitate positive changes. Our thoughts create and contribute to
all of our experiences in life, especially related to health issues.
You
have complete control over your thoughts, not of your emotions. Choose the
thoughts that are nurturing and supportive for you. Criticizing yourself never
changes a thing. So please refuse to criticize yourself.
You
need to accept yourself exactly the way you are. If you don't love yourself when
you are ten, twenty, fifty or over 100 pounds overweight, it will be highly
unlikely that you will love yourself at your "ideal" weight.
Self-acceptance is the critical key here.
You
can use the EFT affirmations to help you address the central core that seems to
be at the key to most people's health problems, which is loving yourself and a
peaceful transformation of your self-criticism.
Everyone
has made negative choices in the past, we all have. The good news is that we all
have a choice. You can always choose to let go of the old pattern. You can
choose different and more supportive and nourishing thoughts. Letting go of your
old negative pattern(s) with love, allow you to move into the new pattern(s)
with ease. Please
always avoid punishing yourself and beating yourself up.
Forgiveness
This
is one of the keys to being successful with EFT, and forgiving others is every
bit as important as forgiving ourselves. Not forgiving them does not harm them
in the slightest bit, but it plays havoc with us. Because the issues are not
theirs, theyre ours.
People
who have problems loving themselves always seem to have problems learning to
forgive others. Non-forgiveness shuts that door. But when you forgive and when
you let go, not only does a huge weight drop off from you and the doorway to
your own self-love opens up.
When
you won't forgive, when you won't let go, what you are really doing is binding
yourself to the past, and when you are stuck in the past you cannot live in
present time.
And
if you cannot live in present time, how are you going to create a healthy and
exciting future?
And
that is the absolutely wonderful and powerful feature of EFT. It allows you to
effectively forgive someone. I have used EFT for hundreds of people to help them
forgive at the deep subconscious level. Not
just in your head, but in your heart, where it really counts.
Your Language
I certainly have noticed this with many people I have worked with. It all starts
with our self-talk. Our self-talk, or the way we talk to ourselves becomes
important because it becomes the basis of our spoken word.
It
sets up the mental atmosphere that we operate in. This will attract to us
experiences. You see your subconscious is really an electromagnetic transmitter
and receiver. It broadcasts emotions in space and whatever we broadcast we tend
to receive from our environment.
BE VERY CAREFUL WITH YOUR LANGUAGE
You
see, much of your power is in your words. The thoughts you think and the words
you say are constantly creating your future. Your beliefs shape your life. The
things you say are extensions of your thoughts. This is why it is so important
to never, ever berate yourself.
Always
tell yourself you are doing the best you can. If all you do is tell yourself you
are fat and ugly and you hate yourself this way, then you stay stuck. You need
loving support, and then you can make changes. You need to constantly forgive
yourself for not being perfect.
Too
many of us think we have to be bad or wrong before we can be changed, but we
really don't have to do that. When you come from love and acceptance, the
changes can become much easier. You make a change because you want to improve
the quality of your life, not because you are a bad person that wants to become
better.
And when you know more, you will do things differently. So never, ever berate yourself for where you were.
Just
tap in "I'm doing the best I can, I'm doing the best I can."
Remember, you need to constantly forgive yourself
for not being perfect.
Do
EFT about ten times per day
This
will allow you to obtain maximum benefit from the technique. It will also be
enormously helpful if you can do this in front of a mirror, paying careful
attention to looking into your eyes. Your energy will be reflected off the
mirror and add a profound synergism to the EFT tapping.
When
in public, you only need to use one hand and can lightly touch each point and
hold it there for five seconds while "tuning into the problem" and
repeating the affirmation. This way no one will realize what you are doing.
EFT:
Alternative Approaches and Final Recommendations
Dr.
Patricia Carrington has made a major
innovation to EFT with her choices option.
Unlike the traditional
affirmations mentioned above, Choices do not contradict a person's present view
of reality, and so are much more easily accepted. Additionally, they represent a
proactive stance and a commitment to one's self.
When using the Choices
option, a self-acceptance affirmation is substituted for the traditional EFT
affirmation used above. In general, this affirmation is the opposite of whatever
the negative statement contained in the first portion of the Set-Up phrase.
This Choice is an
expression of what the person truly desires for the problem that the treatment
is presently addressing. It is aimed at that specific problem rather than being
a general affirmation.
Choices Technique
1.
Identify the negative emotion or state (thought, attitude, feeling, pain,
etc) that you want to be rid of.
2.
Formulate a Choice that is roughly the opposite of this negative emotion
or state.
3.
Combine the negative emotion with the positive Choice.
4.
State the entire Basic recipe combination (negative emotion and Choice)
on the first three meridian points.
5.
Then alternate the points by stating the negative reminder phrase on one
point, and then the positive Choice or reminder Choice on the next point.
6.
Be careful to always end on a positive Choice.
Wording of Choices
Most people do not know
how to identify what they really want. Ironically, however, they are almost
always very clear about what they don't want.
When asked to make a
positive Choice, which is based on what they do want, most people will, at best,
just choose to improve a bit on what they don't like. One way they do this is to
revert to comparisons.
They will use such words
as better or more.
Examples include:
This does not work well
because a person's subconscious, computer-like mind is quite literal, and it
cannot interpret that statement with any precision. What is better? It could be
only a tiny bit better. How much is more? When this is not spelled out precisely
you have an unclear Choice that will not be very effective.
A person making a Choice
needs to state precisely what it is they want. A Choice should not contain vague
comparison words such as "better," but should be a statement of
exactly what they really want to create in their life.
Choices must
"pull" to be effective. This requirement is often neglected. A Choice
that is lifeless is like a dull ad; you just skip over it, don't attend to it,
and it has very little impact on your life.
You might think of a
choice as a sort of ad made up by you and directed to yourself as a consumer.
The person who must be sold is you. You have to buy into and truly want the
manifestation you are trying to bring about.
Whenever possible, seek
to carefully add an adjective or adjectives to make the Choice as appealing as
possible. The aim is to draw you like a magnet toward the goal they seek.
Repeating the Choice during the EFT session, should be a source of real pleasure
and comfort so that you really want to keep saying the Choice over and over,
simply because it is so enjoyable to do so.
Examples:
Alternatively you can add
any of these adjectives to give it more appeal:
The rule of thumb here is
to be inwardly "truthful" in what is asked for. You need to choose
what you really want in your innermost self, not what you think you should want
and it should be the very best you can imagine having.
Examples:
It is not enough to
choose to have a "new apartment," because a "new apartment"
might be a dingy 6th story walk-up with poor heating, tiny rooms, etc. Yet
technically, it might be "new" for you. A much more effective Choice
would be to state exactly what you really want, such as "I choose to live
in a quiet, sunny, delightful apartment.
The more positive and
specific you are the better the Choice will be.
Those who have worked
with affirmations know that the literalness of the computer-mind makes negative
words or phrases a large problem. Our mind tends to ignore the negative and we
get exactly what we were hoping to avoid.
We are always better off
being as positive as we can when framing any sort of command to ourselves
and affirmations are basically commands.
When making a choice
therefore you should avoid using such negative words and phrases as:
For Example:
This rule is important to
emphasize because some people will choose other's behavior as though they had
control over other people, which none of us have.
For Example:
There are many ways that
the above incorrectly worded Choices can be reworded so as to be
non-manipulative and ethical in nature.
Preferred:
Here the person is making
a Choice about their own reaction to Mary, something quite within their control.
The details are less
important than the intent when applying this rule. The point here is not to act
as though we were all-powerful in another person's life, but rather word the
Choice so as to be as genuinely helpful to them as possible without imposing
your values on them.
To find out more about
the Choices Method go to www.eftupdate.com
Psychological
Reversals
The most common reason
that psychological reversal does not change, is that the affirmation was not
said strongly enough or with enough emphasis. Most people will quietly state the
affirmation I have frequently seen that it was necessary for the client to
nearly shout the statements prior to the reversal shifting.
Criteria Related
Reversals
These are subconscious
mechanisms that may be in place and blocking the client's ability to
successfully resolve their reversal.
Deservedness
This is the most commonly
seen of the criteria-related reversals. Common sense dictates that if a person
consciously or unconsciously holds the position that he or she does not deserve
to get over a problem, attempts to alleviate the problem will be met with
considerable resistance. This reversal is common among trauma survivors,
patients with eating disorders, and those who have been violated, and closely
help personal values and morals.
Safety
If the client experiences
the problem as affording some level of safety, it will not easily be resolved.
This consideration does not necessarily apply to situations that are truly
unsafe or dangerous. This reversal is common among clients with anxiety-related
conditions, and even clients suffering from chronic pain.
Possibility/Doubt
Some clients experience
deep doubt about their ability to resolve the presenting problem, for whatever
reasons. While doubt by itself does not signal a reversal, if it is deep enough,
it will be consistent with a reversal.
Permission
In many instances this
operates in conjunction with another, such as safety or deservedness. It is as
if the energy system is saying, "I won't allow myself to get over this
problem because it isn't safe to get over it" or "I won't allow myself
to get over this problem because I don't deserve to get over it."
Deprivation
Especially in the
treatment of addictions, the issue of deprivation may serve to block progress.
When this type of reversal is diagnosed, a discussion around this issue is
appropriate.
What
to Do When You Are Not Getting Results
Negative beliefs may
interfere with EFT, or any energy treatment from working very effectively.
Some of the more common
ones that might need to be treated include:
· I don't believe these treatments will work
·
I doubt that EFT will work
·
Even if EFT does work, I am
afraid it won't last
·
I don't trust myself to stay
free of these problems from now on
·